1. Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not very funny
2. Yelling at me for barking... not a good
example for me to follow!
3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff
out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...
5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know
why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog!
What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then
acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both
know the truth, you're just jealous.
10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Imbecile!